Carbon Taxaggedon Survival Kit to survive 1 July

1 July – Apocalypse Now, the End of the World, Carbon Tax Meltdown

With the countdown on til the end of the world, we here at Turn Left have put together a handy list of items needed for when Whyalla and Gladstone get wiped off the map

• 3-weeks worth of food – low carbon impact food, so no beef; and food that supports Aussie farmers, low food-miles, so that would be 3-weeks of pineapples and bananas from Bob Katter’s electorate.

• since people can’t live on just pineapples and bananas, throw in some cans of baked beans and trail-mix (dried fruit and nuts)… oh, maybe not the baked beans

• can opener

• bottled water, although importing water from Europe or USA would add hugely to food miles, so perhaps fill up some old red cordial bottles with water. Red cordial optional – the end of the world is not an excuse to party

• candles – but no matches; you will not be allowed to light them, that will just create carbon

• maps… or maybe not, once Whyalla has been wiped off it, maps will be obsolete

• fridge magnets, they say “Be Alert, Not Alarmed”

• portable music playing device of choice – featuring a “End of the World” megamix: selections could include
REM’s “It’s The End Of The World As I Know, And I Feel Fine”, or
Greg Combet’s personal favourite “I’ve Been Everywhere, Man”,
Prince’s “1999”, because we will party like it’s 1999, and as we all know, Y2K didn’t wipe any where off the map, or
Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive”, you think I’d crumble, you think I’d lay down and die, oh no not I

• your stock and share certificates in the mining industry, coal, aluminium, nickel, because these industries won’t be killed by the carbon pricing. Even the Coalition don’t believe Tony Abbott when he says that, as 1/3 of Coalition MPs, Senators or their partners have bought shares in mining companies since the Gillard government won the 2010 election. While Abbott is all doom and gloom and preaching Armageddon, the Coalition members are buying stock, and you don’t do that unless you think prices are going up, and these industries are booming

Post apocalypse Whyalla


3 Comments to “Carbon Taxaggedon Survival Kit to survive 1 July”

  1. OMG, a Carbon Tax! We’re all going to be ruined!

    To the lifeboats, quick! – before Australia’s wiped off the map!

    ….Stupid Liberals.

  2. You forgot the cylinder of carbon dioxide — so that I can get a memorabilia whiff of the gas that’s disappeared and been replaced by a big, naughty, humungeous, monstrous, horrible, nasty, ruinous Emissions Tariff, otherwise known by Phoney Tony and the NO Coalition as a CARBON TAX!

    • if only the ALP had of been an effective opposition during the GST debates… how people are scared of carbon pricing but think a GST is wonderful is not about the tax / or not tax – its about perception and how it was sold, and the Tories run a more effective scare campaign than ALP can run education campaigns

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